Preparing to Say Goodbye

Preparing to say goodbye…

How do you prepare to say goodbye?  I didn’t know how to prepare to say goodbye last January when my grandmother passed and I don’t know how to prepare to say goodbye to my first foster child.  

My heart is hurting but I am also feeling grateful that she can return the home.  I never thought I would feel such conflicting feelings about this little one returning home.  Thinking about saying goodbye has brought me back to the feelings of loss from the babies we lost over the last year and a half.  Although I never got to hold them, I carried them with me, even if it was a short time.  I still don’t feel whole, and don’t think I will until I meet them in heaven.  Now I think another little part of me will be broken and gone once again.  As I’ve thought and missed my precious babies we lost, I think it must feel overwhelmingly sad to loose your child under any circumstance, and maybe God is using my pain to feel compassion to others who are there as well.

I will always love this little one! I feel like I’ve healed by having my arms filled for those middle of the night feedings, those morning smiles and the joy that’s been brought to our lives.  God has spoken a lot of peace to me through the song “Thy Will” by Hillary Scott and the Scott Family.

I’m so confused

I know I heard you loud and clear

So, I followed through

Somehow I ended up here

I don’t wanna think

I may never understand

That my broken heart is a part of your plan

When I try to pray

All I got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

I know you’re good

But this don’t feel good right now

And I know you think

Of things I could never think about

It’s hard to count it all joy

Distracted by the noise

Just trying to make sense

Of all your promises

Sometimes I gotta stop

Remember that you’re God

And I am not

So

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Thy will

I know you see me

I know you hear me, Lord

Your plans are for me

Goodness you have in store

I know you hear me

I know you see me, Lord

Your plans are for me

Goodness you have in store

So

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees

All that comes to me is

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

Thy will be done

I know you see me

I know you hear me, Lord
Our little one will be returning here soon, and my arms will suddenly feel very empty, my nights will feel quiet, and my car will feel a little more empty.  I don’t know how to prepare for this goodbye… But I think I understand now that my broken heart is apart of HIS plan.  

Vintage Market Days Of North Central Colorado & GIVEAWAY

Who loves vintage markets?!? I am so excited about this upcoming event!!  My husband and I went last year and really found some amazing treasures.  This event is coming up on October 13-15th in Estes Park.

This is such a fun market. Not only are there amazing vendors, food and treasures it’s located in a beautiful setting! We really enjoyed the ride up to Estes Park, it’s a beautiful time of year to do this drive!

Make sure to check out their  Facebook  page.  They are also have amazing non-profit organization they are working with, The Colorado Foundation on Conductive Education and they help children with motor disabilities such as cerebral palsy. 

They have been gracious enough to allow me to giveaway 2 free early entry tickets. To enter go to my facebook page and I will have information there for the GIVEAWAY!

I wanted to share some of out finds that we got last time! 

We found the awesome table legs hanging on the wall, and we also got the vintage suitcases we made into shelving!

I was able to purchase this vintage wooden ironing board for $25!!

We were able to get this awesome iron gate as well.

These are just a few of the things I picked up!  Can’t wait to go see what I find this time!

Benebone Dog Bone The Only Bones for Our Dogs

This is not a sponsored post!

With four dogs we are always in need of bones that last.  Our heelers can destroy bones in a few minutes.  We don’t like rawhide or bones that can be ripped into small pieces.  Bleu has a tendency to try and swallow them whole.

So, we’ve been on the search for a bone that would last and be safe.  Well, we found it and I have to share!  These are great, they are harder than rawhide, but as they chew it gets softer.   They come in 3 flavors, peanut butter, rotisserie chicken and bacon.  Our dogs like the rotisserie chicken and bacon the best!  They also come in different shapes, we’ve bought both types and our dogs prefer the Y shape.

If you have dogs who are chewers these are the bones to buy!

 

Engagement Cookies

My friend got engaged and I want to make her a little gift basket.  So I put a few things together and knew I wanted to make her some special cookies.  The little stick people are my favorite.  I use these little sugar pearls for the engagement ring.

This was my first real experience with writing on cookies with royal icing. I also got this tool and I can’t believe I did cookies without this magic little tool. I also love Americolor color Soft Gel Paste it is what I use for cookies and cakes, the colors are so great and vibrant! 

What are you favorite royal icing tools?

Why I LOVE My iRobot Roomba 650 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner

This is not a sponsored post!

My husband bought me a Roomba for Christmas.  We found it on a great Black Friday deal!  I’ve wanted one since we now have 4 dogs.  It feels like a constant ordeal to sweep and vacuum all the time, so when I saw this deal I knew we had to try it.  Now I want to say that I have heard mixed reviews on these.  We went into this knowing the good and bad of what people say, so I think I had pretty realistic expectations of what this would do.

I’ll start with why I LOVE this.  I should mention we named her Rosie, yes we named her! Like I said before we  have 4 dogs and the hair that is in our house feels overwhelming at times. I knew that I would need to still vacuum, but my hopes was to have my vacuuming down to once or twice a week.  It exceeded my expectation I am able to vacuum once a week and then Rosie does the rest. She runs on a schedule at 9 am everyday.  She does a great job on the carpet and the hardwood floor.  She does a good enough job on the carpet that you see the vacuum lines, this always makes me happy, I love those little vacuum lines :). She gets under furniture that I can’t, this is where the dog hair gets trapped, so this is awesome! My other favorite part is that the replacement parts are so cheap, this is where I bought ours and I am super happy with it. You will need to change out the spinner, ours lasted about 3 months before it needed replaced.  She also doesn’t scare the dogs, which was a concern we had! My favorite part is she puts herself up on her charger, I love that it does this!

There are very few things I don’t like about this but, there is room for improvement on a few things. It gets stuck under the edges of our couches and Rosie will be there when we get home sometimes.  She also gets stuck in our bathroom, she gets in there and closes the door on herself.  The only other thing that is kind of annoying is, the spinner gets clogged up with dog hair, about once a week I have to clean it out.  The good news is that it is a super simple and easy thing to do, just a little maintenance.

All in all, I could not live with our Rosie. She has made my work load a little easier and I love her.  I highly recommend this!

Now I really want to try the Roomba Mopper!

The Second Addition to Our Heeler pack

If you read my blog, you know that we lost our beagle and that lead us to Bleu. Our love for Heeler puppies grew everyday we have had Bleu. If you have Heelers you know how much energy they have  and that lead us to talk about getting another one.

On a whim we went by the rescue that is just down the street from us and we fell in love with this beautiful red girl! She was six months and when we walked into the kennel to see her she rolled right over in our laps and we knew she was the perfect companion for Bleu.

We brought her home and they were instant friends! We love our sweet Bailee Rae! She is a great addition to the family!

We are not sure what she is mixed with, we plan to have her DNA tested.  I’ll be sure to post the results of what we find out! What is your best guess?

Bleu Growing

I shared a post about losing Brody (our Beagle) this week. I was completely heartbroken after this loss.  My husband took me to an animal shelter a few weeks after losing Brody.  I didn’t think I was ready for a new dog, but we walked up and saw the most precious heeler puppy and my heart began to heal the tiniest amount.

I wanted to share this fun idea of how we documented our sweet Bleu growing.  It is fun to see these and how he grew.

I used this mini chalkboard, which was great because it was a consistent measuring block.  I also used Google Picasa for the editing.

Who loves their heelers as much as me?

Baseball Stadium Cookies

These were super fun and easy! I used square cookie cutters and royal icing, the sprinkles were awesome to make the “people”.

Loosing a Pet

This is an old post that I never published.  My sweet guy will have been gone for 2 years in August.  I wanted to share these wonderful memories, even though these words are not recent words.

We recently lost one of our precious dogs!  Brody was my first baby and I can’t explain the pain I feel over his loss.  He was just a week shy of being 10 years old.  He ate something he should’t have and we lost him very suddenly.  Making the decision to put him down was definitely heart reaching and difficult.  I have gone through so many emotions over the last month.  I have felt grief, guilt, anger and a lot of sadness.  I still call his name at times or wonder where he is sleeping in the house.  These habits have been so hard because it is a reminder of him always being near by.

Brody was definitely special to all 4 of us, but he was my baby for the last 9 years.  He provided the unconditional love that I desperately needed at some of the most difficult times in my life.  He was my protector in so many ways.  I am forever grateful that God allowed him to be with me for 9 years.  Over those 9 years he taught me so much.  He taught me how to care and love.

Brody was a Beagle and that came with a lot of quirks! He loved food, was a little stubborn and had a nose that got him into a lot of trouble.  We have since realized how much we miss his funny quirks.  He never did anything on our time, it was always on his time.  As infuriating as it felt at times, it was his personality and I can’t tell you how much I miss calling him in from the backyard and watching him take his sweet time making his way in.

I have cried over loosing my little guy everyday since he’s been gone.  I am glad he is out of pain and in a better place but for now my heart hurts and I miss him badly.

We laid Brody to rest in our backyard.

I love you Brody and will always miss you!

Anniversaries

Four years!?!  I can’t believe it’s been four years.  My title is anniversaries because today I celebrate two anniversaries.  I celebrate the amazing love my husband and I got to share and confirm four years ago, but I also get to celebrate the day I became a Smom to my two sweet kiddos.  What a blessed day it was!

In four years, a lot has changed and a lot hasn’t.  My life changed dramatically all at once.

The first thing was giving up a career that I had spend 14 years in, I started in the industry when I was 15.  I loved it, but my husband and I decided to make the priority for me to be home with the kids.  I am sure glad we made that move, although it has not always been easy, it feels like a sacrifice that is worth it (maybe I’ll write a post to explain what I mean another time).  This threw me in head first and although there were days I cried, days I didn’t think I could do it and days I loved it, I look back now and see the enormous growth in my spiritual life with God, my relationship with my kids and the growth in myself.

The second thing to change was sharing my life with three others.  Having quiet time seemed to be different.  Things like getting up in the morning(which if you know me at all isn’t a easy task) to make lunches, breakfast and get everyone off to school and work.  I was so used to just getting myself up and out the door.  And one of the biggest…LAUNDRY! 🙂

One of the hardest things was finding my place in a family that existed way before me being introduced. I knew I was loved, but when it came to sitting down to watch t.v. my place wasn’t the same as when my husband and I were dating, it seemed to be on the other side of the couch because the kids were used to having their Dad to themselves. This took adjustment and it took communication with my husband and now we have a new normal.

I hope you read my blog for more of our ever changing story.  Not because I am an expert, not because our story is unique, but because all you Smom’s out there should know…you AREN’T alone!

Today is a day of such JOY, a day my life changed for the better.  A day that the Lord gave me that man I desperately desired and the kids that have made me whole.  I love these three people more than I could ever express, and though I know things are never perfect, I am glad these are the three are the people I will laugh, cry, smile and love for the rest of my life!

Thank you Lord for the blessings you bestowed upon me four years ago!