The Hardest Job…

Foster Care

I don’t know how many times I’ve said it… “being a stepmom is the hardest job I’ll ever have”.  Well, I might have been wrong.  Being a foster Mom might be harder.

As a stepmom at least I know I will have these kids for the rest of my life.  As a foster Mom it is temporary. My stepkids have been loved, cared for and healthy for their whole lives.  I do believe that a divorce is a trauma for children, but they are loved and cared for non-the-less.

Being a stepmom is so hard, I have all the responsibilities of a Mom without being their Mom.  I know they love me, I am blessed that we have this kind of relationship, but I know I am 3rd in line.  That’s how it should be honestly.  It doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t hurt at times.

If you have read my blog before I have shared our infertility struggle. Foster care seemed like a logical next step for us, and God has really called us to do this.  Have you ever noticed that when God calls us to do something it usually isn’t easy?  This is no exception!

My heart hurts for these kids daily, I cry it seems like all the time.  To be honest my heart hurts for me as well.  The emotions I feel are often conflicting and confusing.  You want what is best for this kids and families, and ultimately I want what God’s will is for them.  It doesn’t mean that I have not attached to them.  I’ve waiting a long time to be called Mommy, to have those little hands raise to me when they need comfort or to have those special times at night when only I can get them to sleep.  I know God is in control, but I am here day in and day out and I fear the loss of them.

I have also found the system to be sad, which adds a whole other layer of fear and concern.  I won’t dwell on this…for now.

“If only for a time” is something I repeat in my head often.  If only for a time, I’ll show them love.  If only for a time, I’ll show them a family.  If only for a time, I’ll show them God.  If only for a time…


Four years!?!  I can’t believe it’s been four years.  My title is anniversaries because today I celebrate two anniversaries.  I celebrate the amazing love my husband and I got to share and confirm four years ago, but I also get to celebrate the day I became a Smom to my two sweet kiddos.  What a blessed day it was!

In four years, a lot has changed and a lot hasn’t.  My life changed dramatically all at once.

The first thing was giving up a career that I had spend 14 years in, I started in the industry when I was 15.  I loved it, but my husband and I decided to make the priority for me to be home with the kids.  I am sure glad we made that move, although it has not always been easy, it feels like a sacrifice that is worth it (maybe I’ll write a post to explain what I mean another time).  This threw me in head first and although there were days I cried, days I didn’t think I could do it and days I loved it, I look back now and see the enormous growth in my spiritual life with God, my relationship with my kids and the growth in myself.

The second thing to change was sharing my life with three others.  Having quiet time seemed to be different.  Things like getting up in the morning(which if you know me at all isn’t a easy task) to make lunches, breakfast and get everyone off to school and work.  I was so used to just getting myself up and out the door.  And one of the biggest…LAUNDRY! 🙂

One of the hardest things was finding my place in a family that existed way before me being introduced. I knew I was loved, but when it came to sitting down to watch t.v. my place wasn’t the same as when my husband and I were dating, it seemed to be on the other side of the couch because the kids were used to having their Dad to themselves. This took adjustment and it took communication with my husband and now we have a new normal.

I hope you read my blog for more of our ever changing story.  Not because I am an expert, not because our story is unique, but because all you Smom’s out there should know…you AREN’T alone!

Today is a day of such JOY, a day my life changed for the better.  A day that the Lord gave me that man I desperately desired and the kids that have made me whole.  I love these three people more than I could ever express, and though I know things are never perfect, I am glad these are the three are the people I will laugh, cry, smile and love for the rest of my life!


Thank you Lord for the blessings you bestowed upon me four years ago!